Losing it...

I’ve done the stupidest thing known to woman, or at least any mummy in the vicinity of Nappy Valley. I have lost my pram.

Yes, you read that right. I have gone and lost my massive, expensive, Phil & Teds 'E3' double buggy complete with raincover and mudguards.

How, you might ask, can such a thing be mislaid?

Well, the story starts with a large puddle. Which my toddler gaily splashed in the other day in the playground, soaking trousers, socks, shoes and nappy in brown, murky rainwater. I thought about stopping him, but after the initial splash I decided to let him get on with it and completely cover himself in mud, as it was obvious his entire outfit would need removal.

We had driven to an unfamiliar playground to meet up with a friend who lives a couple of miles away. On our return to the car – parked in a residential street - toddler was cold, wet and whingy, and I spent several minutes struggling to remove his clothing, strap him in, and prevent him from jumping semi-naked into the front and pretending to steer. Then I had to scoop up his small, sleeping brother from the pram and strap him into the carseat without waking him up, bundle coats, bags and wet clothing into the car, wipe the sweat off my brow and drive home. Just one problem. The pram - as I realise now, two days later - was still sitting on the pavement……

When I returned to the scene of the crime, there was naturally no sign of the Phil & Teds. I knocked on a few doors in the street, but no-one claimed any knowledge of the enormous, tank-like contraption that had been sitting directly outside.

My husband, when I called him up in tears, had the audacity to laugh. This, from a man who does not have to deal with the daily shenanigans of getting two small children to and from parks, activities and friends houses accompanied by various nappy bags, bibs, coats and bottles. Although he points out that we wouldn’t have needed the double buggy for much longer – the toddler is growing up - he’s never had to contain a stroppy, tired two year old who doesn’t want to scoot any more and feels like throwing a tantrum in the middle of Clapham Common.

My friends tell me I’ll laugh about it someday, and I know I will, but I can’t quite bring myself to do it yet. It'll take a few good glasses of wine this evening to get me even vaguely cracking a smile.

But what makes me most furious of all is that someone, somewhere in Nappy Valley is walking round with a £300 double buggy, only a year old – for FREE.