Monday, 25 March 2013

The F word

F is for forty. That is how old I will be in a couple of weeks. I always thought I'd have a big party, like I did on my thirtieth, but I'm just not in the mood. I still feel ill, and I want to save the party for another time, if and when I'm feeling better.

F is for fibromyalgia. Or perhaps it should be f***ing fibromyalgia. This is a chronic pain condition I may or may not have. The rheumatologist I saw said it was a possibility, although he wouldn't make a "diagnosis" as such - in fact, there are no real diagnostic criteria for this disease. The fact is, doctors don't know what causes it, and they are still working on how to treat it. And the symptoms seem to be very different for different people. None of this is at all helpful. I'm taking a new drug now, which is supposed to alleviate the symptoms, but we'll see. After all, it may not even be that. But the medical profession appears to have run out of other tests to do on me, so what other choice do I have?

F is for friends. I have some good ones here, who are supporting me, and some back in the UK who are doing all they can from a distance.  I'm grateful also for my blogger friends - your comments always make the day better.

F is for future plans. It's hard making them when I feel like I do. But they have to be made. We are leaving America in a few months' time. I'm having to organise removal firms, and think about school uniforms, and finding somewhere to live.

F is for Florida. We're about to go there on holiday. I need a break, and I'm hoping the sun, sand and sea might do something for me. After all, you never know.

16 comments:

Was Living Down Under said...

F is also for Feel Better which I hope you do soon.

Forty is just another year. You'll know when you're ready for a big celebration. In the meantime relax and rejuvenate - sun, sand and sea might just be what the doctor ordered.

Happy Birthday and I really do hope they figure it out soon. Sometimes having a definitive answer can help you more forward with whatever it is.

Expat mum said...

F is also for FFS - wouldn't you think, with all the people that seem to have Fibro-thingy, that the docs would be a bit quicker on the uptake? Hope you get it sorted out soon.
Have a lovely time in Florida.

Elsie Button said...

I really hope you start feeling better soon, and that you have a really lovely time in Florida.

And a very happy 40th (I am not far behind you!)

xx

Clare Taylor said...

Have a great break - you deserve some down-time. x

EmmaK said...

Sorry to hear you have fibromyalgia. Have a wonderful relaxing break. Take care

Harriet said...

Happy Birthday, when you get to it, and have a wonderful time in Florida.

A thought, and that is all it is as obviously I don't know you at all, but a very close and lovely friend of mine is going through exactly the same things as you, except that the GP is flatly refusing to give her a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, which is what everything else would indicate it is.

Instead, she's been referred for counselling and told to get more exercise. There's nothing "wrong" as such in her life, just the usual stresses of not enough time, too many children, not enough money etc etc, but that's what the GP thinks it is.

Any improvement for her so far is only tiny, and anyway probably you've been down all those sorts of routes already, but I thought (like I say, without knowing you at all) that just in case you hadn't, it might be worth a mention.

Whatever it is, I know how miserable it's making her, so I really hope you both get better soon x

Metropolitan Mum said...

I have never been a fan of partying for the sake of it. Have your party when you feel like it! And have a lovely lovely holiday. Dxx

Knackered Mother said...

Erm, F is for Fiano, a lovely Italian white that's more exciting than Pinot Grigio? Hoping you feel better soon, and have a fab time in Florida x

Iota said...

Bother. I was going to say F is for Feel Better, but Was Living Down Under got there first.

F is for Freedom. Finding Freedom. I hope you soon find freedom from your illness.

Karyn Gorman said...

F is for Findng your way. Loved your blog.

Michelloui | The American Resident said...

Florida! How very VERY lovely. Warm sunshine makes everyone feel better. My mother has fibromyalgia. The medical vagueness is difficult. And 40? MetMum is right. My OH is 50 this year and instead of a big party he has planned to do lots of smaller things with different groups of friends and family--real quality time with people who really mean something to him.

Circles said...

So glad to hear you're going to Florida - I really hope it offers some respite. The sunshine and warmth can only be good things. Wishing you a lovely trip xxxx

Anonymous said...

F is for fun. I have really enjoyed reading your blog. Thank you. Celebrate when you feel like it.


Sue

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry your still feeling so crap.
Oh,Florida sounds heavenly! I am SO ready for better weather! I hope a dose of the sunshine state does your body and soul good.

MsCaroline said...

I don't know if it helps or not to have a name for it, but I certainly hope it provides a little comfort. I have several friends who have 'fibro'- as they call it - and all of them have mentioned the frustration of a diagnosis that is made more by ruling out other things than being able to run a specific test for something - as well as the challenge of having an illness that is not apparent to the naked eye. I hope the sun, sand, and relaxation in Florida do much to lift your spirits and rejuvenate you.

Melissa said...

F is for fabulous which is how I hope you feel soon