Monday, 30 November 2009

Oh sh*t....

So just picture the scene. We are sitting peacefully by a beautiful bay eating sandwiches from a deli (yes, another picnic in November, this is getting ridiculous...) watching the boats and a couple of seagulls float by. The picnic also includes a muffin - one of those incredible American ones which appears to be made out of sweet, sticky plastic. It has, says The Doctor disdainfully, chocolate chips in it as well as blueberries.

En route back to the car, Littleboy 1 decides to climb up the wooden railings by the sea, where the gulls have been sitting. We hastily call him down before he has the chance to topple headfirst into the water. Then we have the usual kerfuffle of getting both Littleboys into their carseats, persuading them to abandon favourite sticks and so forth, and be strapped in.

Suddenly all hell breaks loose. The Doctor is shouting and cursing and calling for baby wipes; Littleboy 1 is giggling hysterically. It transpires that Littleboy 1 has got seagull shit all over himself from climbing the railings - and The Doctor also has it all over him. Not only that, but The Doctor has inadvertently managed to get some in his mouth. He starts frantically swigging mineral water from our bottle and spitting it out.

He is also furious with Littleboy1, who finds the whole thing incredibly funny. Littleboy 1 is going through a real toilet humour phase at the moment and we are trying our hardest to discourage him from saying 'poo' at every opportunity. So the idea of his father getting bird poo in his mouth is about the most hilarious thing he's ever heard. We both remonstrate with Littleboy 1 for laughing at 'poor Daddy' and tell him to be quiet.

At this point the corners of my mouth begin to twitch slightly but I keep it in check, seeing that The Doctor is really not amused. Eventually he sits back down in the car, still grimacing. "So what happened?" I venture to ask. "I thought it was that bloody muffin," he replies.

I can't hold it in any longer and burst into hysterical high pitched giggles. Setting both Littleboys off at the same time.

Luckily at this point The Doctor also saw the funny side. But I have a feeling persuading Littleboy1 that poo is not funny is starting to become a lost cause.....

15 comments:

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Poo is funny.

I'm not sure if I think that because i have 2 boys who think it is hilarious, or whether they think it is hilarious because I do. Either way just saying poo reduces mine to hysteria.

If I say poo and fart and burp together they collapse on the floor. Maybe watching them find something so funny is what I find funny. Either way, straight face, never going to happen.

Poor the doctor though...

Mud in the City said...

Eugh - but it is funny. That's a story to go down in family legend!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Continuing the poo is funny theme. Just got my two notoriously fussy eaters to eat their spag bol by declaring it to be worms covered with worm poo. God they thought that was funny - but ate it too. Yes!

angels said...

Children and poo - I mean, it's a combination that's made in loo heaven. It must have been even funnier than mummy's skirt blowing up in the wind, or other littleboy falling over into a puddle. I can picture the scene, and sorry dad, my lips are twitching too!

Mwa said...

Poo is always funny. As long as it's in someone else's mouth.

Dumdad said...

The word poo is funny in itself. So, don't fight it - poo yourself laughing.

Iota said...

I'm with you and Littleboys. I found that hilarious. Sorry, Doctor.

Says something about American muffins, that they look like seagull poo. And taste like it too?

Expat mum said...

Eeuuww! That is THE worst poo story I've heard in a long time. And bird shit stinks too! You can pass along my sympathies!

Motherhood The Final Frontier said...

A HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Please don't tell the Doctor I was crying with laughter.
I think it was incredibly noble and loyal of you to last that long, frankly. I would have been on the floor in hysterics from the get-go.
I'm with Littleboy1 on the scatalogical humour front.
It's just damn funny.
You probably don't want to introduce me to your children, now, do you?

Nota Bene said...

Poo-r Doctor!

Chatterbox said...

That was funny :)

May be I feel that way cause I am simply enjoying the narration of it all and didn't experience it myself.

Keep up the good work and have fun :)

Cheers!!

nappy valley girl said...

Brit in Bosnia - you're right, it is funny. We are only discouraging because LB1 doesn't seem to understand yet is that it's OK to say it to us, but NOT to complete strangers or his teachers...

Mud - yes, we're not going to forget this one in a hurry.

Angels - yes, I think it's the funniest thing he'd EVER seen.

Mwa - thank god it wasn't me...

Dumdad - Americans call it poop, you know. Which is quite funny, too.

Iota - I think it was the chocolate chips that had him fooled...

Expat Mum - it is vile, isn't it. Thankfully he had no adverse side-effects!

Mothership - so now can I tell you the story about how, as a student, he took a swig from a cup of 'cider' that he found in the Student Union loos...?

NB - He thanks you for your sympathy!

Chatterbox - I'm sure I wouldn't find it quite so funny if it had happened to me....

Nicola said...

Oh God that must have been so disgusting! But he's a dr isn't he? And a father to boot? I'm surprised he had such an issue with faeces...I bet they were full of nutritious fish oils...

Such a funny post. And glad you all rolled around laughing at the end. Littleboy1: 1 Rest of the Family: 0

Jacqui said...

Poo, flatulence, people falling over - they're always comedy gold. What's The Doc doing anyway, sneakily eating the chocolate chips he was so unimpressed with earlier in the picnic?? Sounds like the muffin had the last laugh...

Helen said...

Hilarious! Brightened up my day!