Friday, 26 March 2010

Things I will know for next year's school show

1. When you get a slip of paper telling you that your elder son's class will be putting on a little show next week at preschool, think about it a bit harder. OK, it may not be the nativity play, you may not have to make a costume, but come on, everyone loves to watch their children perform.....

2. Don't go to book club the evening before and drink a strong cocktail and a large glass of wine, while nibbling on a few appetisers. You will not sleep well, feel bleary-eyed and not a bit like leaping up in the morning and fitting in that supermarket shop before the show, as you had planned. You will also be crabby with your children, who have chosen this very morning to throw the contents of their toy chest down the stairs......

3. Don't talk about the show in front of your younger son just as you arrive at the preschool. He will throw the most enormous tantrum because he wants to watch his brother. Once you have established with his teacher that this is OK, accept that he will not want to wait another whole hour for the show to begin and will have to be parked downstairs in his brother's classroom until it happens.

4. Don't show up 5 minutes before the show starts, thinking that this is quite early enough. For a start, there will be nowhere to park as a fleet of gleaming SUVs appears to have taken over the entire area. Once you reach the classroom, the other parents will be sitting in the front row seats expectantly, while you and Littleboy 2 will be relegated to perching on a rickety table at the back.

5. Bring your camera. Everyone else has. Some have huge profressional-looking models with tripods set up, some have video cameras. Somehow the crappy camera on your phone doesn't quite cut it....

5. Consider asking your husband to come along. There are, after all, loads of Dads there, all of whom are smartly dressed and appear to have taken the morning off work to make a special trip to the 10 minute performance.....

6. Bring cupcakes or muffins for the snack table afterwards. You were not actually asked to do this, but everyone else just seemed to know.

7. Bring a packet of tissues. Because your eyes will well up with pride at the sight of your darling child standing with his classmates singing a song about helping out in the neighbourhood - in a distinctly American accent.........

13 comments:

London City Mum said...

On the up side think about how you most definitely cut an 'original' figure... and you can put it all down to your British quirkiness.

Am sure that will do.

LCM x

TheMadHouse said...

I have Maxi's first assembly next week, so I am taking copious notes

Emma said...

I know exactly how you feel. I arrived 20 minutes before my daughters school play yesterday, couldn't park and was relegated to the back of the Hall where she couldn't see me!!! I did have my camera but was so far away I couldn't take any pictures!!!!!!!

Corina said...

ugh...it's a tough learning curve.

Iota said...

But if everyone brings cupcakes or muffins, there'll be far too many of them. Some people have to eat and not bring, and that could be your role.

Muddling Along Mummy said...

Why doesn't someone write a pamphlet explaining all these things - I'm finding the unwritten stuff a nightmare and just want someone to say, oh look you need to bring x

Expat mum said...

Also - if they do a "quick run through" as my kids' orchestra did on Friday, make sure you tape it because your stupid, bloody, ancient, sodding camcorder will choose the moment of the actual performance to die! (Sorry - just a little upset about it.)

nappy valley girl said...

LCM - only problem with that is that I think I'm using up the currency of that particular excuse...!

TheMadHouse - you'll probably find it's completely different in the UK. But arrive early, just in case...

Emma - And it's so important that they can see you. LB1's face lit up when he did eventually see me - and he directed all his singing at me after that.

Corina - sure is. I always seem to be behind on this parenting thing!

Iota - you are so right. (Except for the fact I couldn't even get near the cupcakes to eat them, because a classload of preschoolers descended on the table like piglets to a trough....)

Muddling Along - exactly, that is what I could do with. An etiquette book for clueless mothers.

Expat Mum - ah, the woes of technology. (That is why I have never used a dictaphone as a journalist - too terrified that it won't work or won't play back!)

Bush Mummy said...

Tag for you over at my place.

BM x

A Modern Mother said...

I always forget the camera too, and now I forget the Flip. UUgggghh.

nappy valley girl said...

BM - thanks x

A Modern Mother - Flip? What is a flip?

mothership said...

sorry, did you write that post about ME? I do this each and every time and I NEVER EVER LEARN.
Please don't let the British side down by baking cupcakes, turning up with your husband and having a well-behaved toddler with you. Please!! Or if you do, don't you dare blog about it.
PS wv appropriately :MANIC

Michelloui said...

Oh how lovely to know I'm not the only one who seems to not have The Instinct.

Sadly, I also had annual amnesia and never quite remembered from one year to the next all these Important Points. My daughter is now in year 7 and for a performance last week I managed to get hubby organised to leave work early AND we managed to get to her performance so early hubby and I could choose anywhere to sit.

He refrained from telling me he thought we had arrived too early, but his look said it all. Perhaps my look did as well ;)